He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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