no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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