party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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