she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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