I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
