Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
