Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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