I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
