I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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