I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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