He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
