just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
