I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
