hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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