Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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