didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
