Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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