; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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