it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
