I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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