Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
