This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
