what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Actions speak louder than pants.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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