He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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