they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
