I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
