Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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