just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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