a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
