i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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