I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
