so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
