Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Randomize
