Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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