So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
