After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
