Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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