She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
