WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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