I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
