hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
