I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
