you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
the day after is always just damage control
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
