hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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