were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
BRING THE BAGELS
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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