the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
