No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
