butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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