Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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