The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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