Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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